Allen's Mirror

~D.I.S.C.O

Sleep~

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Felt the need to reblog @.@

Favorite game from my childhood <3

"Lack of motivation” is a generally misunderstood symptom of depression. It does not mean that I sit around thinking, “Oh, I’m so depressed; why bother to do shit I don’t want to do anyway.” It means not that I lack discipline, but that there is a mental disconnect between my conscious mind, which says I want or need to do X, and the part of my brain which actually initiates activity. It prevents me from doing things I would very much like to do, as well as things I need to do, rather than indicating simply a lack of interest in doing things which are not immediately rewarding.

If you want or need to go somewhere, whether somewhere you’re eagerly looking forward to going, or somewhere routine, or to the dentist for a root canal which you may be much averse to but have nevertheless decided will leave you better off in the long run, and you get in your car, turn the key in the ignition repeatedly, yet the engine sputters but does not engage, this is not an indication that you don’t really want to go anywhere. It’s an indication that something is wrong with the equipment you need to transport you there.

I am fully capable of sitting for hours, thinking periodically, “I need to pee,” then, “I really need to pee,” and eventually, “Damn, I need to pee,” before being able to jump start the part of my brain which engages with the task of getting up and walking the ten feet to the bathroom, and initiates the movement which allows me to do that.

The more complex the task, the harder it can be, because a more complex sequence of actions must be, in some sense, imagined and targeted before the actions necessary to bring them about can be initiated. Most people are unaware that this process even takes place, because in a healthy brain, it occurs swiftly and automatically. In my brain, it does not."

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Maud, There’s Good News and Bad News. And Fat News. (Shakesville) (via dominemiserere, kiriamaya)

I’ve lost quite a few friends in my life because I can’t articulate why it’s so hard for me to go out and spend time with them, especially on short notice. For me, short notice can be a day or a few days. I need time to shore myself up and force myself to do things I actually want to do. And when I do go out, I feel a terrible sense of anxiety because I can’t control the situation and whether or not my depression will humiliate me in front of other people.

(via fannybaws)

(via synthezoid)

(via robblerobble)

(via embracewithme)

(via kcalron)

My life for the past two years.

You hear many things thrown at you at a daily basis, I just wonder why the most minuscule things hurt the most.

Tired~

Started “IT” again and I don’t think I’ll talk to much about it b/c I seem to jinx it every time I do. So I guess I’ll hope that it keeps on going well till the very end.

♥

Can’t stop laughing xD

Love him to death ♥

Can’t get enough of this show >.< Love Katey so much in this ♥

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The Strokes ~ Life is Simple in the Moonlight

Happy Birthday to Me ~.~

I’m 20 today and yeah :/ God it’s been a long depressing 20 years. I really don’t want to bitch and moan anymore so hooorrraaay -.-

</3

It’s funny how life took a sharp left turn for me. It wasn’t so long ago that I wanted to travel the world and study abroad, now I’ve settled to becoming an electrician. I’m still planning to move out as soon as I’m done with my apprenticeship, but now all I have in my head is a stable job and a nice place to settle. I miss my dream like state of hopes and possibilities </3

IAMX ~ Avalanches

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Allen's Mirror